Selection #1: A completely original song about all of the Khajiit deities.
Tsashima: Ohhhh Jone and Jode you shine so bright, Azurah guide us from the night, Khenarthi’s winds shall sing so sweet, Rahjin steals shoes from your feet, Lorkhaj has long gone away, so now little Merrunz comes to play, Magrus brings us all the sun, but Baan Dar and Sheggorath bring the fun! You do not know this song? Who raised you?
(Continued, sung) Riddle’Thar makes lots of rules, Hermorah won’t suffer fools, Alkhan is a big bad boy, Sanjiin gives us blood and joy, Boethra’s naughty and exiled, Namiira dances with the reviled, hungry Hircine hunts for food, and sneaky Mafala is quite lewd.
(Continued, sung) Forgotten hero is Alkosh, Nirni’s kittens need a wash, sneaky Noctra runs away, Varmiina’s ghost brings us dismay, moo to Ius and you will see, a bit of S’rendarr’s bright mercy, Y’ffer says we must repent, so like Namiira, Y’ffer, get Bent!
Selection #2: The introduction to the final play, Eris Crashes a Party, based on the story of the Golden Apple from Greek Mythology.
CHORUS:
We take you now to a fateful wedding day,
Of Peleus and Thetis, with little Achilles on the way.
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes baby in a…WAR!
Cause fuck this rhyme scheme honestly,
Rhyming today is not for me,
Ok, I lied, but that makes sense,
For we speak of a goddess who’s rather intense,
Goddess of strife, rivals, and discord,
Whose revoked invitation brought a reward
Of someone shunned and just as hell-bent
As the evil, draconic fairy, Maleficent.
(Eris shows up and kills the Chorus.)
Eris: Hello, everyone, I’m Eris. Phew, was I getting tired of those fates telling us everything that was going to happen in these plays! Where’s the fun? The mystery? The CHAOS? This is a pretty great story, so kick back, relax, cheer for your favorite fighters, chow down on that popcorn, and enjoy the show. Catch you later, I’m not in this next scene.
Selection #3: Additional Verses to Reach Witch Chant from ESO to include the other Daedric Princes traditionally worshiped in the Reach.
Give heed, Torment
Hear us sing out
Shadowed Schemer
Must endure your
Hard-earned wisdom
Or cruel tricks
They shatter our hearts
To make us strong
Give heed, Dragon
Hear us sing out
Force of nature
Keeping order
Through blight and plague
We still survive
Or spread Affliction
When time is right
Give heed, Ambition
Hear us sing out
Fill us with drive
The will to survive
Battle’s fury
And storm’s rage
Our lives may be harsh
But we are free.
Selection #4: Rewritten Skyrim Version of Demon from the East from ESO. Player’s faction choice in Civil War and Dawnguard affects which lyrics bards will sing.
Soldiers trek across the snow
War chills our solemn home,
A soul that shines through the dark
Wrapped in the threads of time.
Alduin rises full of scorn.
Followed by the Dragonborn,
Oh the earth is torn and scorched
Our people know but fear now.
Our hero raises bow of the sun/Vampire Lord raises bow to the sun
Calling Stormcloaks/Legion to follow,
Mora guides these threads unspun.
Which Champion goes forth?
Which Dragonborn goes forth?
Soldiers come from foreign shores
To kill/join us in our Civil War,
Taking stride by our Stormblade’s/Legate’s side
And prepare for battle.
Elder scroll nobly bestows
A shout to defeat our vile foes,
Its sound forces fiends to fall
Victory seems so close now.
The Dragonborn makes one last stand
Against the Worldeater,
Fire and blood staining peaceful snow
Nighttime fills the sky.
To Sovngarde for one last fight
Slaying him now and forever,
Soldiers celebrate in Dawnguard’s light/eternal night.
And peace reigns once more.
And peace reigns once more.